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How To Unleash Unstoppable Sales Self-Confidence
by Gerry Robert
Two women who are in a personnel office about to be interviewed for the
same job. They are both responding to an ad they saw in the local
newspaper. They both have children and both are returning to work after
being away from the job market for 15 years. Both women want this job.
Lucy sits nervously, fidgeting while she waits for the personnel manager
to call her in. Once in the office she sits regidly, looking very pale,
her hands sweating and trembling somewhat. She is breathing shallwly, her
heart is racing: she finds it difficult to look the interviewer in the eye.
"Lucy, you have read the ad, you've applied for this job, and you have
certain skills. What makes you think you are qualifed? In a nutshell, why
should I hire you?"
Before she even opens her mouth she has a terrible sinking feeling in the
pit of her stomach. She asked herself what she is doing here. Already she
feels embarrassed for even having applied for the job. She's ashamed, she
feels dejected and flustered. "I guess I was sick of just staying home.
I was bored with housework. You see the kids are in school all day and I
need something to do. I've cooked some and I've cleaned some. As Lucy mouths
those empty words, she is filled with self-doubt and self-hated.
The thought of even trying to enter the competitive job market at her age
repulses her. She feels she has blown the interview and leaves the office
totally humiliated vowing to never put herself through that type of
embarrassment again.
The second woman. Jane, has exactly the same qualifications. She too has
been out of the job market for almost 15 years. her children have grown and
her experience is that of a mother and homemaker.
She walks into the personnel manager's office with a bounce in her step.
She smiles at him, looks him straight in the eye and takes a seat, sitting
in a confident posture.
The manager asked her the same question he asked Lucy, "June, you have
read the ad, you've applied for this job, and you have certain skills. What
makes you think you are qualified? In a nutshell, why should I hire you?".
Sitting up straight in her chair she responds by saying, "Mr Jones I would
like you to know a little about me. I've been a housewife for the past 15
years and I think it has made me uniquely qualified to fill this position.
I have personally tutored four children all the way through grammar
and grade school. I have done their homework with them and helped them.
I know all about new math, new English. I have been a counselor to my kids
in each area of life from college choice to dating.
I am the right person for the job. Over the past 15 years I have been a
domestic engineer, a purchasing agent, a cook and I have been instrumental
in keeping my home intact. This is no easy thing in our day. For the past
15 years I have been:
- a meal planner
- a nurse
- a cop
- a judge
- a jury
- a wardrobe consultant
- a budget expert
- a financial planner
- a teacher
- a tutor
- a cheer leader
- a spiritual adviser
- a maid
- a linguistic expert
- a gardener
- an administrator
- a schedule planner
- a chauffeur
- an environmentalist and
- a family traditionalist.
For my husband I have been a friend, a lover, an adviser, an encourager,
a partner, a comferter and a constant companion. For my community I have
been a caring neighbour, a diligent volunteer, a giving freind and a
church member.
Mr Jones, with that vast amount of experience I have gained an incredible
amount of knowledge and skill. Given a little time and training, I am
absolutely convinced I can do this job and do it well."
Which one do you think will probably get the job? The facts were almost the
same for both women. Why would the outcome be so dramatically different?
What did Jane have that Lucy lacked? The answer is self-confidnece. One
was sure of herself and another doubted herself. If we want to have more
confidence in selling, we need to remove questions of self-doubt that
attempt to sabotage our goal achievements.
SELF-CONFIDENCE BOOSTER #1: IDENTIFY 10 PEOPLE YOU CONSIDER AS
SELF-CONFIDENT. LIST WHAT MAKES THEM SO?
Why do you think they are that way? Where do they appear most confident?
How did they get it? I believe that self-confidence is for everyone, no
matter at what income level you find youself, regardless of your skills
or social status. We all have the potential to become self-assured, stable
and confident individuals.
Name of confident person. How do they show it?
1.........................2.......................
3.........................4.......................
5.........................6.......................
7.........................8.......................
9........................10.......................
SELF-CONFIDENCE BOOSTER #2: UNDERSAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SELF-ESTEEM
AND SELF-CONFIDNECE
Self-esteem and self-confidence are similiar but they are concerned with
two very different things. Self-esteem attempts to answer the question.
"Do I matter"? and self-confidence deals with "Do I have skils?" The
latter is concerned with ability and the former with worth.
The following are necessary ingredients to developing healthy
self-confidnece.
- SECURITY
We all need to know that our relationships with others and even to some
extent with ourselves are secure and free from being tied to performance.
By that, if I am to develop self-confidence, I need to know that pass or
fail, relationships will still be there. I beed to be convinced that sink
or swim I am a valuable individual.
As a child who's not sure that his parents will love him if he fails. I too
will not risk losing that love. I need that security and without it I will
never risk. Security is too important!
- OPPORTUNITY
Self-confidence is concerned with ability. A necessary ingredient therefore
in this area is opportunity to prove and test my ability.
What area of your life would you consider, yourself fairly self-confident in?
Would you say you have had a recent positive experience in that area?
Sure, we are confident in the areas we do well i. If we win certain battles
we are confident in facing others. It's like that marine officer, when
he saw that he and his men were surrounderd by the enemy, said, "Men, we
are surrounded on all sides: don't let one of them get away." We have
certain abilities and we can test them out in the forum of life.
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
In order for us to grow into self-confident individuals we need the
acknowledgement that says, "You are super! That was fantastic. You matter.
"You did a great job."
We all need to be reminded that we are special. We need it from others
and from ourselves.
SELF-CONFIDENCE BOOSTER #3: SPECIFY YOUR SKILLS
What are you conpetent at? What are some things you do fairly well. There
is no such answer as, "Nothing" to that question. I refuse to accept that
and so should you. It is a blatant lie to answer that question by saying,
"Who me? I can't do anything well". That's baloney. Look a little deeper.
We all have certain strengths and abilities whether in knowledge, character,
experience or personality traits. Specify what you are good at. Repeat those
things to yourself and start doing more of those things that are positive
for you.
DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING QUALITIES?
- Care about others
- Detail orientated
- Good with numbers
- Strong willed
- Wood working skills
- Good cook
- Sing well
- Creative
- Listen to others
- Good swimmer
- Good organiser
- Write poetry
- Know languages
- Good speaker
- Can drive a truck
- Know CPR
- Has A hobby
- Good at a game
- Play a musical instrument
- Handy man
- Travel experience
- Love people
- Love for animals
- Honest
- Know someone famous
- Hard worker
- Have an interesting collection
- Smart
- Works diligently
- Have integrity
SELF-FONFIDENCE BOOSTER #4: STRETCH YOUR COMPETENCES
Self-confidence is nothing more than knowledge. Let me say that again. To be
self-confident all you need is information. Look at it this way. You do
something well, five thousand times. You know you can do it. If you've
done it right that many times, you know you can do it therefore you are
confident. If you have never done it before then you don't KNOW.
Without that knowledge you doubt. If you want to be confident then give
yourself that chance to find out what your abilities are.
By trying new things and taking the risk to stretch your present level of
ability, you discover that trying is the key.
You come to know that taking a chance is not the end of the world. You
realise that security and peace is not the grounds on which self-confident
is developed. Without at least trying you are living well below your
ability level.
Self-doubt is a progressive illness. When you refuse to risk and try
confidence building projects, you begin the-downward spiral of rejecting
growth opportunities and settling instead for the safely net of life.
That pattern is the "safety-net" syndrome. You refuse to leave the nest:
you don't try anything that in anyway threatens the security and safety
factors.
When was the last time you tried something you've never done before?
When were you last exposed to some growth opportunity? By taking some
risk and succceeding you create that pattern of stretching your ability
and increasing your knowledge about your skill level. What kind of risk-
taker are you?
SELF-CONFIDENCE BOOSTER #5: GET HELP IF NEEDED
Some people feel a need to cover up a lack of self-confidence by trying
to make a big impression. A newly promoted army colonel moved into his new
and impressive office. As he sat behind his new big desk, a private knocked
at his door. "Just a minute," the colonel said, "I'm on the phone."
He picked up the receiver and said loudly. "Yes sir, General. I'll call
the President this afternoon. No sir, I won't forget." Then he hanged up
the phone and told the private to come in. "What can I help you with?"
"Well, sir," the private replied, "I've come to book up that phone."
There is help available to assist in giving you some positive success
experience. People who fear public speaking have become confident speakers
by joining a Toastmasters Club. They provide the platform and opportunity
to stretch your competencies.
If you want to get more self-confidence you should join Toastmasters
International. The cost is minimal compared to the immense value of the
organisation. To find a club in your area, look in the telephone book.
Toastmasters is only one organisation dedicated to helping develop your
self-confidence. There are thousands. Find one that's right for you.
Don't be so proud that you can't ask for help. Refuse to be like the
man who said, "I, by my stupidity, got into this mess; therefore I,
by my stupidity, will get out."
Be careful of the "If Only" syndrome. what this 'excuse-giving' behaviour
does is attempt to put off self-development by coming up with reasons to
delay.
SELF-CONFIDENCE BOOSTER #6
Pick five sell-confidence tips from the list below and implement them
today.
Join a status building association, club or organisation. Meet some
important people. Buy an expensive suit. Do something you are good at 25
times in the next month. Write out and repeat self-confidence building
affirmation. Spend time with confident people. Refuse to host or attend
any "pity parties". Hold your body as a confident person would. Remove
anything in your life which contributes to self-doubt. Take a rish.
Get on a talk-show. Start verbalising that you are a confident person.
Concentrate on what's right with you. Make a list of all your victories,
success and achievements. Free yourself from addictions. Act confidently.
Increase your vocabulary. Develop an expertise in something. Get good at a
hobby. Take up someting unique. Read up on an subject that interests your
boss. Set a small goal and achieve it. Help someone less fortunate.
Take a risk. Create a "Hit List" of influential people you want to meet.
Buy a book on communication. Listen to powerful audio cassettes. Speak
un. Give a speech. Take an advanturous trip. Take a self-defence course.
Attend a self-esteem seminar. Be a strong person. Develop a sense of destiny.
Know who you are and what you are about. Be proud of who you are and what
you will accomplish in life. When others sense you have a strong
self-confedence and healthy self-esteem they will be willing to believe in
you, trust and follow you. We are all attracted to dynamic leaders.
SELF-CONFIDENCE BOOSTER #7
Learn to stand alone.
According to industry-wide statistics, at the age of 65, insurance
companies calculate that a whopping 94 per cent of North Americans are
either dead or dead-broke. One out of 100 is still working. Four are
financially stable or just getting by. Out of 100 people, only one person
wil be financially independent entering the Golden Year.
As Armando David Vacca says, in The Magic of Success, "They plan for the
Golden Years but for far too many of them, it's really the Yearning Years,
they are absolutely dependent upon others, even for life's essentials."
This is the reality of the masses. For people who want to win at life,
breaking away from the masses is an absolute must.
Most people are like a flock of ducks that are flying across the sky. Very
seldom does the duck stop to wonder if the flock is going in the right
direction. They just fall into line and follow the flock.
Doesn't it make sense that a duck who follows the flock will end up exactly
where the flock is headed? Or course! And when was the last time that you
saw one duck change its direction, and take off the opposite way? Not too
often.
We must understand, that the reality of the masses quite simply states
that the masses will end up broke and depandent on others for their
survival. If we follow the flock, that's where we will end up as well.
To break this pattern, we must be like the lone duck who turns in the
opposite direction, and heads away from the pack. Sounds difficult doesn't
it? It is! But the rewards will pay off for the rest of your life.
Soon, you wil be flying much higher in the sky, enjoying the life you
create and not the one the masses dictate.
OPINIONS
Why do broke people ask other broke people for opinions or advice on
how not to be broke? Heck, if they had any inclination about money, do you
think they'd be broke?
Why do people go to sick, overweight doctors, who smoke, for medical advice?
The last person who can help you to health is an unhealthy doctor. Could
you learn anything from a financial planner who is not rich? Ironically,
most financial planners are far from wealthy.
Believe it or not but many motivational speakers offer sharp tidbits of
information while struggling themselves. Why would anyone ever listen to
them. Be sure that you no longer rely on the advice of the masses.
Remember that their advice wil get you to exactly where they are going.
Many people live their lives always worried about what their family and
friends think of them. Chances are, they don't think at all. That's the
problem. They live their lives according to the way they think that their
friends and family think that they should live. As soon as someone say,
"I'm tired of being average, I want to saor with the eagles," the masses,
the flock of ducks that they are with, will try to drag them down with their
meaningless quacking.
Understand this - what anyone thinks of you is none of your business.
At the end of the day, you must answer to yourself. At retirement, you will
either have the life that you want for your family, or you will not.
Others will have no solution for you at that point.
As you journey higher into the sky to join the ealges, you will find that
there are two basic fears that are motivating your freinds and family to
try to stop you. Your family, in most cases, is motivated with good intent.
They are living by the mindset of the masses. They are not aware of their
own inner strength, let alone yours. Their fear of your failure is greater
than their excitement about your success.
You must step out of the mould, despite their advice. Often times your
freinds, on the other hand, have much more selfish motivation for trying to
keep you in the flock. They live by the mindset of the masses as well. They
believe that to get ahead in life, one is either lucky or a con artist.
"In fact, you may find that the key to success is luck; just ask any
failure."
The masses also spend their lives blaming others for their failure. It's
the government's fault, it's racession, it's his fault, or it's her fault.
Many failures believe that the reason they are where they are is because
of their lack of education, or opportunity. In truth, none of the above
could be farther from reality. We are responsible for our own lives.
We choose our own path-way to walk by the decisions, we make every day.
Tell your friends that you are going to saor with the eagles, and make great
things happen in your life. You may find that they are not as excited as
you are about your new plan. You see, when you become successful, you will
shatter the myth that they live their lives by. You instantly force them
to accept responsibility for where they are in their lives, and for where
they are going.
Be strong! Overcome the need you might have to gain the opinions and approval
of others, When you attempt to change your life, as you are doing now by
reading this book, and following this Money Mastery System, you will force
opposition. You have decided to move beyond, just getting by. You want to
better yourself.
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